tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post6380444983998731427..comments2024-02-01T02:51:43.854-08:00Comments on Sometimes it's hard: It's not her, it's mestory girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16876607625116932174noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-68502565636012279442012-11-12T15:27:01.448-08:002012-11-12T15:27:01.448-08:00I have a two and a half year old son and feel exac...I have a two and a half year old son and feel exactly the same. Plus he just does not want to play by himself. So I have to be involved all the time. <br /><br />Now the "all the time" part got much better since he started going to daycare. He goes in 3 days a week and does all the messy projects there. He loves it. I love that he gets to do things I don't know how to do and frankly, don't care to do, because they are so messy. I know that they are kids and they need to be messy. It just works much better for me when he is messy elsewhere. <br /><br />Here is a wonderful article I came across recently. I hope you enjoy it! http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/11/9/why-youre-never-failing-as-a-mother<br />Andreahttp://andreachmelik.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-58015589487268321502012-11-12T12:08:35.511-08:002012-11-12T12:08:35.511-08:00Caitlin, I tried to email you but there isn't ...Caitlin, I tried to email you but there isn't an email address in your blogger profile. If you want to talk more, click through mine in the top right and email me. You are so not alone. story girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16876607625116932174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-57498554383898997832012-11-12T11:49:28.605-08:002012-11-12T11:49:28.605-08:00Thank you for this. I happened upon your blog acci...Thank you for this. I happened upon your blog accidentally and am encouraged by your discouragement, if that makes any sense. I am a new mum and have been struggling with some pretty substantial depression. It is so helpful to know that someone else is struggling too...that it's not inherently bad to struggle. It's human, and it's ok. Caitlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12847066236918494106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-75295319922375701212012-11-09T14:05:01.429-08:002012-11-09T14:05:01.429-08:00I left a successful professional career over 6 yea...I left a successful professional career over 6 years ago to be a SAHM, and I have 3 young children. I am one of those moms that people tend to call a "supermom" and it bugs the crap out of me, because it's just not true. Because, like you, I very rarely play with my children and find it really hard to do because it's frustrating and makes my brain explode. I interact with them constantly, but I play with them in their world rarely. My strategy, which wasn't an intentional strategy at first but is just how I've ended up rolling and clinging to a tiny shred of sanity, is that I have a lot of personal interests that fit into the SAHM life. I love to cook, bake, garden, and spend time outside. I invite my children into these pursuits with me, knowing that their participation will slow me down and make it messier. But these are compromises I can live with because I'd rather have the kids in the kitchen with me spilling flour than for me to be in the toy room with them playing with dolls. I switch back and forth between feeling guilty about this and feeling kind of proud of the fact that I have kids who know how to participate in more adult activities. I guess what I am saying is that if there are things YOU enjoy that you can do with your children around, it is okay to do them and invite her to join in if she wants to. The kid in the kitchen who is making a disaster at age 2 can actually be helpful by the time she's 6 (which will take about 5 minutes, just for the record) and it's a way you can spend time together for, well, the rest of your lives. You don't need to meet other people's definition of how to be a good mom...if you love her all the way, the rest will take care of itself.Big Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01899896042348804471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-30142810592314279682012-11-09T11:38:22.101-08:002012-11-09T11:38:22.101-08:00A lot of it is "being a warm body." But ...A lot of it is "being a warm body." But you are a warm body that LOVES her unconditionally and CHOOSES to be around her, not because you're getting a pay check out of it.<br />My focus was on art in high school and college, and you know what? I very rarely do projects with my kids.. I just don't have the patience for it. So instead of putting them through my hatred of it, we do other stuff. We act silly, we talk about things going on in the house, and we watch tv. WAY more than I ever thought we would. But we talk about it- where is the square?, did you see that cow?, oh my isn't that mouse being silly. I sit on the couch with them and pay bills, make grocery lists, research coupons/deals- and then sneak away every now and then to do other chores. I just "mom" in a way that feels right for me, not in comparison with anyone or anything else.<br />To keep myself sane I blog, I watch the news every night, and try to enjoy these little kids as much as I can because the early pre school years only last for so long.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06797822524540431537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-88786056307342116582012-11-06T18:59:43.945-08:002012-11-06T18:59:43.945-08:00You said this so, so well.
"I still someti...You said this so, so well. <br /><br />"I still sometimes feel like I was sold a false promise of what being a mom was supposed to be." Yes, I wonder sometimes if I'm missing something. I know I'm home b/c it's what I feel is best for her, but there's a big part of me that is missing personal growth and stimulation. That sense of achievement that I had at school or work. That sense of challenge. So now I'm pushing myself to learn new things--photoshop, photography, cooking. I'm reading books again. It helps. But I hear you. I so do.Rach (DonutsMama)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14029074046922966097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-54099787204372357842012-11-05T12:28:11.789-08:002012-11-05T12:28:11.789-08:00Feed the intellectual needs that you have; don'...Feed the intellectual needs that you have; don't feel like a bad mom for having them. Take a class, join a book club, do something that gets you away and challenges you intellectually; it will refresh you and allow you to embrace the parts you find more difficult to enjoy.<br />And remember that this age is fleeting. Seriously. She'll get older, you'll move to a new stage and you'll both be learning from each other. <br />Being a mom doesn't fill all your needs, and that's okay. It's not supposed to. Doesn't mean you don't love your kid or you're doing it wrong. Just means you need to change your approach so it feels better. Mari Margenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11980396545869403904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-9936829518128530312012-11-05T12:01:48.437-08:002012-11-05T12:01:48.437-08:00I have to be honest with you . . . once my kidlets...I have to be honest with you . . . once my kidlets were no long newborns but before I had to go back to work, I was bored to tears being home with them. I made a lot of playdates! A lot! Perhaps you should look into a course that you could take that could fill in the time when you feel like you are just a warm body. <br />JennFox in the Cityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12163309708157436213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1235502677257882577.post-59384573726136102852012-11-05T11:58:25.634-08:002012-11-05T11:58:25.634-08:00((hugs)) It is tedious and lonely and that is some...((hugs)) It is tedious and lonely and that is something THEY don't always tell you. I have been a pre-k teacher most of my adult life and I LOVE doing the fingerpainting, sensory tubs, cooking, role playing etc...and it was still VERY mind numbing to me at times. I think it's ok to admit that being a SAHM isn't what you thought it would be and it's ok to change your mind about it.Robbie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12355421896613106268noreply@blogger.com