Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing life wrong.
It's been a busy year. BG started half day kindergarten. Little Sister started preschool. I became a Girl Scout leader.
I feel like I just run in circles, putting out fires, rearranging deck chairs.
I remember a time when my life felt like I was moving forward, like I was accomplishing something, like I was driving the bus and not just struggling to not fall down because there weren't enough seats.
Maybe I don't remember. I don't remember much these days.
When I'm scared, when I'm overwhelmed, I tend to be funny. Snark is my shield. If we're not laughing we're crying, amirite?
And I am. I am right. Laughing at ourselves is a crucial life skill. But it isn't the only life skill.
I want to get back to a place where I can go deep. Where I'm afraid but I do things anyway. I want to put my gifts out in the world because they matter and because I matter. I want to do more than just stare at the wall and try to make it to bed time.
Hi. I missed you.
This put into words how I am feeling and thank you for writing it as I feel less alone. I often wonder if I am the only one who can never seem to catch her breath and is always worried I am screwing everything up.
ReplyDeleteOh you are so not alone. Huge hugs. Come sit with me.
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