Gifted

Last year, halfway through first grade, my Big Girl was identified as gifted.

I mean, I wasn't really surprised.

This is my girl who was reading chapter books on her own when she was 4. I've been trying to keep up with her pretty much since she was born.

Sometimes it's hard for me to talk about this because it feels like I'm bragging. But here's the thing about having a gifted child. Sometimes? It really sucks.

She's in second grade now and she does third grade math. She does fourth grade spelling words. She reads at a sixth grade level. She does theater in the summer and plays piano.  She also goes to therapy, and still routinely melts down to the point where she isn't coming back. She breaks into tears when playing with kids her age on our street because none of them take direction or respect a script.

When I started reading about giftedness, I realized that intensity is almost part of the definition. Almost all gifted people have this emotional, sensory, and creative intensity. Greeeat.  Another thing that's characteristic? Asynchronous development. Meaning that large parts of her brain can't keep up with her intellect. Meaning that when I think of her like she's twenty because she knows more than a lot of adults, I'm really expecting things of her that she can't do.

It's exhausting. She's all consuming. And she has a sister who is, in entirely different ways, also all consuming. Meaning that most of the time, I'm more than completely consumed. My resources went negative a long time ago.

There's so much about BG to be grateful for, so much to adore and even to respect, and I try every day to be worthy of her. But dude, I'm exhausted.