A few weeks ago, I started checking out parenting books from the library again.
I know. Don't say anything. I know.
Toddler momming is hard, yo.
Since Baby Girl was born, everyone's been telling me to trust my instincts. It's supposed to be comforting, but it isn't. I always end up thinking "wait, am I supposed to have instincts about this?"
I don't know what I'm doing. At all.
My sweet, adorable, brilliant, willful, manipulative little girl is running the show around here. I don't have any instincts that tell me what to do about that. Even when I taught high school, discipline wasn't exactly my thing. I had a pretty good raised eyebrow, and I worked the guilt a little more than I should have. But those were pretty much my only moves.
And BG's not buying it.
So this week I read a book called Parent Talk, by Chick Moorman. I like it, I think? It's not what I was hoping for. It focuses on encouraging choice and responsibility, which I think is fantastic. A lot of it I already do.
And then I got to the list of things to never say to your kid, and one of them was "My patience is running thin."
Hold. the. freaking. show.
I read that section. It said that patience means putting up with things. That you shouldn't lose your patience because you shouldn't need patience. That if you understand your child, you should recognize her behavior as age appropriate and therefore it should be easy for you.
Have you ever wanted to punch a book? Wait, is that not a normal reaction?
I cried a little.
I know that her behavior is age appropriate. I know that toddlers test boundaries. I know that all she's doing is what is her job to do.
But I lose my patience.
And you know what? How could I not? I can fully understand why she does what she does and still be totally thrown over the edge when she does it.
And when I am losing my patience? I think I'm going to go ahead and tell her. Because I'm a human being, and she deserves to know.