Who am I

My therapist thinks I should start writing again. She thinks that I know deep down that I'm a talented writer and that I shouldn't pin my opinion of my own writing on accolades and rewards and sponsorships and book deals. She thinks I have something to say that's worth saying, that people will want to hear.

Errm. Hi.

My 13 year old (YES SHE IS) thinks we should all wear pins with our pronouns and with other distinguishing features about us. She thinks this would make life so much easier for all of us. My pin would say:

She/her
CisHet
Ally
Liberal
Mom
Teacher

I'm not sure what else it would say. My therapist asked me today what feelings I had about myself and not about the things that surround me. She asked me what my goals were for myself to make myself happy. Am I supposed to have those?

I feel tired. I feel discouraged. I feel overwhelmed and bored at the same time. I feel like these are a lot of the same things I felt when I had babies even though now I have a tween and a teen. 

Is it me? Is it them? Is it the world?

My therapist seems to think there's still a me in here somewhere, separate from everything I do. A being not a doing. A self. She wants to know who that is.

So do I, friends. So do I.