Monday, April 1, 2013

Stop the self care madness

I am not good at self care.

I am not good at not being good at things.

I want to be kinder to myself, and happier, and better equipped to deal with the hard stuff and enjoy the good stuff.

Which isn't to say I want to run and sleep and read and eat clean and eat chocolate and drink all my water and have a second cup of coffee and a glass of wine and avoid numbing my vulnerability and learn something new and get out of the house and have a  pajama day and accomplish things and take it easy all in the same day, every day.  And beat myself up when I somehow don't manage it.

Maybe some of you don't need to remind yourselves of this.  But I do.

When I first started trying to feel better, and again when I decided to "grow," I got caught up in this idea of self care as something that was a burden.  Something else I had to fit into the day on top of everything else.

Because I still need to play with my kids.  I still need to eat and prepare meals. Laundry still needs to be done.  Self care seemed so heavy.

But it's not.

Some days, I want to do some things for myself.  I want to send out Monday morning glitter on Twitter.  I want to read at night, and to cuddle with my husband watch TV.  I want to write most days.  Once in a while I want to run or do yoga (although not so much these days).

But most days?  All I need is to pause for a second every once in a while.  To breathe before I answer something.  To finish my sandwich before I run to react to my daughters' perceived crises.

And, well, maybe have some chocolate.


  1. Maybe self care is more the attitude we have towards ourselves instead of something we need to find time to "do." B/c really, aren't we already doing a ton?

  2. Yes, self-care can be very small. Very, very small if needed. But if it ends up on your to-do list I can see how that would not be good!

  3. So well said. I just LOVE everything you have to say! Ha! But true. ;)