Feelings

Right now, my eight year old is in her room, periodically screaming that she's never getting dressed and therefore, as per my decree, never coming out of her room.

My 5 year old just curled back up in her bed after telling me that her brain, her eyes, her throat, and her stomach hurt.

I just need some quiet.

I've been staying calm. I've stayed calm when BG locked her door and kicked it because we wanted her to wear shoes. I've stayed calm when LS screamed and sobbed because I had the nerve to expect her to eat chicken that she liked the day before. I've stayed calm through all the ups and downs, through the exhaustion and hangriness and all that comes with transitions.

I'm kind of tired of staying calm.

When is it my turn to throw a tantrum, to get really righteously angry and sad? When is it my turn to really just lose it and let all my emotions fly onto whoever is nearest?

I have a lot of feelings. It may not always look that way.