Sometimes it seems that my husband, lovebug that he is, doesn't understand me. I thought I would write a quick translation guide to help him out. Please feel free to share with any other husbands you know.
When I say,
"Oh no, it's okay. I can do it myself."
I mean,
"Get your rear end out of that chair and get in here or I'm going to pout and grouch at you all evening."
When I say,
"Can you hold the baby while I run to the bathroom?"
I mean,
"And let out all the curses I have been waiting all day to say."
When I say,
"No, keep talking about work. I'm listening."
It means,
"I AM listening, but you better recognize because you are so going to owe me later and best be listening when I tell you a story about a twitter/blogger friend you've never heard of."
When I say,
"Oh you're going to Wendy's? Just a salad and a chili. And maybe a baked potato."
I mean,
"And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD A FROSTY. How could you go to Wendy's and not get me a Frosty? And make it seem like it was your idea, so I can act like I'm all healthy."
When I say,
"Can you do this for me?"
I mean,
"Can you do this for me?" (Ahem. That one isn't hard. I promise.)
When I say,
"I'm fine."
It means,
"I haven't slept in a week, my head is about to explode, and I'm 30 seconds from crying and I totally blame YOU because you just asked me that question. Now put the baby to bed for me, get me some cookies, and rub my feet, okay?"
Got it?
Ah yes, I get this. I so get it. Here's mine: Can you help me out tonight means "When she wakes at 3am can you PLEASE take this shift for me b/c I never get a minute of downtime!"
ReplyDeleteYes, so so true! Also? "I'll get it later" really means "Get your butt up and do it now so I can sit here and play on twitter all night!"
ReplyDeleteYou could publish this and sell a million copies. Is it still funny if it's true?
ReplyDeleteNow I want a Frosty.
Did you see the new Wildberry Frosty? I need one now, after reading this & being reminded of how good they are. They're low fat & low in sugar, right??
ReplyDeleteI loved this post. It's all true.
Ha! You should make a sign and post it somewhere to help him.
ReplyDelete"And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD A FROSTY!"
ReplyDelete-----my fave.
Men just don't get it!
Will they EVER learn.
Very FUN post.
I'd like to add: If I have to go do the thing I've already asked you to do 3 times, and then you rush in to "take over" or hover around me while I do it so you can take credit for "helping?" Prepare to feel the wrath.
ReplyDelete