Some tea for my vulnerability hangover

Dear Self,

I see you.  Curled up under the desk in the fetal position.  And it's okay.

Yesterday, you listened to the universe (and Glennon) telling you that it was time to be brave.  That it was time to show up.

You didn't just do it because someone told you to.  You know this in your heart.  You've been showing up when you didn't want to for years.

You are brave.  You truly are.  You aren't just pretending.  Hiding under your desk today doesn't mean you aren't brave.

It's okay to want to be safe.  It's okay to want to keep yourself from getting hurt, to want to protect yourself from judgment, shame and blame.  It's something humans do.

But you are here, you are doing the work, every day.  You are messy and you are beautiful.

The work you do, the words you say, they matter.  And they don't just matter when other people tell you they do.  They don't just matter when you get the response you were looking for.

Yesterday, you wanted to show up and be messy and vulnerable and tell the truth, let the words pour out.  But then you wanted those words to be met with nothing but approval, you wanted to impress people, you wanted people to say "Man, she's PERFECT at being imperfect."

Even though you said you weren't going to do that.

And that's okay.

Everyone gets the vulnerability hangover.  It doesn't mean that you did anything wrong.  It doesn't mean that you made a mistake.  It doesn't mean that you're weak.  It doesn't mean that you should stop.

You want to be seen as wise and self aware and together, as talented, as evolved.

And you are those things.  You know you are.  You don't need to wait for someone else to think that about you.  You're allowed to believe in yourself and your own words.  You're allowed to be proud of them.

And you're allowed to feel raw and be hurting today.  You're allowed to catch your breath.

And you can show up anyway.  You just did.

I'm pouring you some tea, and giving you a big hug.

You're so much braver than you think you are.

Love,

Your nurturer.  Because you're damn good at nurturing

P.S.  You just got this out of your head, so I'm gonna put it back in.  You're welcome.