My 16 month old was awake from 1:00-3:30 AM last night. As she was the three nights before that.
My brain is turning into mush.
Today I managed to get her to snuggle in bed with me and sleep from 7-10 AM, so I got a little sleep. I was rewarded for my efforts by a baby who didn't think she needed a nap (she did), a hangover-like headache that lasted all day, and a nightmarish bedtime.
It's getting to the point where I would chew my own arm off to get a good night's sleep.
I know that this will pass. I know that every baby sleeps eventually. I know that I will miss the snuggles, that I should enjoy the time when she's little, that it's a brief brief moment in our life together.
But if someone tells me that one more time I may rip her head off.
I'm grouchy. I'm weepy. I'm miserable to be around. I'm completely unproductive and useless as a member of society.
I want to stomp my foot and proclaim to the world that it's JUST NOT FAIR.
I know I'm being ridiculous.
I know I will get through this.
But that doesn't mean I have to do it gracefully.
Oh I'm never graceful either when we miss naps or have a bad night. It's hard to have perspective when you are exhausted like this. And you feel so out of control. Just remember this: when she's a teenager, you can get her back.
ReplyDeleteSending you huge hugs. I know that exhaustion well. We had a few rough nights a week ago with the youngest being sick. Lack of sleep makes for a grumpy mom. When I am tired, I am without any grace. I generally behave like my girls do when they're tired, short of stomping my feet. Sleep deprivation sucks. Get as much as rest as you can.
ReplyDeleteSee now, I completely disagree when you say that you are being ridiculous . . . sleep deprivation is a torture method because of how ridiculously effective it is. Moan, whine, complain and be grumpy because it is hell.
ReplyDeleteMy kids are two of the shitty sleepers you will ever meet. I just hold on to my dream of revenge . . . like waking them at 4:030 am every morning for weeks on end. Oh nothing sweeter than that sort of revenge! ;)
Jenn
Grace isn't necessary. Be kind to yourself--kindness is necessary. Sending you BIG giant hugs right now. I hope you get some quality sleep soon. I've been there, and it effing sucks.
ReplyDeletep.s. I was really not graceful this morning. If it makes you feel any better, I had a mini-meltdown over the dog tracking mud onto my comforter. And because my to do list at home is overwhelming, thanks to weeks of one of us being sick and nothing getting done. My Xmas tree is still up, for goodness sake! So yeah, although I try to be graceful, it just doesn't always happen and that's ok.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs! Hope you've gotten some sleep.
ReplyDelete