I've never been good at making friends. The few close friends I have who have stood the test of time are people who stumbled into my life in one way or another (be it through band or math club or the campus housing lottery), and for that I am so grateful. They may be spread around the country - world even - but they are still a part of me.
But going out and meeting people? Is hard.
When I was working, I had a group of girls I would go out for drinks with after school on Fridays. But then I realized that they all saw each other other times too, and went to each other's houses and weddings. They genuinely liked me, and I don't fault them for any of it, but they didn't know me. That wasn't their fault. I didn't say much.
After I had Baby Girl,I knew I needed to get out. For me, it was a turning point in my depression when I got out of my house and met people. I joined a MOMS Club, and I am so glad that I did. It's pleasant, and I feel comfortable there, and they really genuinely like me.
But sometimes I go there and wonder if I will ever belong.
I go to meetings and I listen, but I don't talk much. Thank God for my extroverted little girl who keeps me in the thick of things at playgroups (although, she is a notorious mommy stealer. Other babies beware). I have started to wonder whether as an adult woman, I am just not likely to ever again make the kinds of friends I have been blessed with since adolescence. You know, the kind you can just sit with and have a cup of tea and a piece of cake, but you can also lean on them and pour out your hearts and dreams. I have my few close friends, and maybe, I've thought many times, maybe I'm done. Maybe I should stop looking.
But then I met all of you.
Since I've been blogging, I have been overwhelmed by the community I have found. There are women out there like me, who understand me, who are willing to listen to me pour out my heart and soul and guts and who at the end of it all? Still like me.
On the twitter, we sometimes joke about how we wish there were a Momblogville, where we could all stop by each other's houses for tea and have the best playgroups in the world, and where Hobby Lobby would never close.
We say to each other, "I wish Momblogville were real."
Well, I'm going to tell you right now. It is. You, my dears, are some of the most real friends I have.
So stop on over for tea any time. Oh and if you can? Bring cake.
Would love to come by! When I first started blogging way back, there was a small group of women in my town that also started blogging, I often wished all those women lived on my street. Life would've been so much easier :-)
ReplyDeleteOh so true, so true! I feel at a loss for words when I'm with other moms when I'm at a soccer game or picking my kids up from school. Weird how it's so much easier on-line.
ReplyDeletethis is my first time at your place and i'm glad i stopped by. :) this is real sweet and honest and that rocks.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh, MUG CAKE!!
ReplyDeleteI am with you. I am not great at small talk and I find that blogging cuts through the small talk and lets us get to know each other . . . basically it removes all the awkward silences and talk about the weather. Which by the way, we have sun today but a very cold wind . . . how about you? ;)
Jenn
it is so hard. but i'm also really glad that the internet exists, and not just because it makes it so much easier to talk to you every day... but because it does remove all the awkwardness of getting to know people. and the craziest thing of all, sometimes, is that if you think back to how you met the people you're closest to (random assignment by the housing office, anyone?), the internetosphere seems not so weird after all.
ReplyDeleteand basically? what needs to happen is that scientists need to work harder at making apparition possible. because then momblogville is everywhere! :)
I wish all my blogging friends could live in my neighborhood. It's so much easier in blogville.
ReplyDeleteOh girl. Tears. I've got some great IRL friends too, but like yours, they're scattered and we don't see each other much. But it's so nice to know that I can count on you wherever we are. Just so much wish we lived closer.
ReplyDeleteI think friends are friends no matter how, what or why you came about. Even if you never met them in real life.If they touch your heart, they're friends.
ReplyDeleteI am socially awkward. I'm actually very shy and quiet when it comes to meeting people.
I hope you consider me one of your Momblogville friends. I'm so glad we met!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't resist the Yes, Virginia in the title, since I'm a Virginia. I had an experience yesterday that shows how social media and making friends via the Internet can reduce the size of the world to one degree of separation. Here's a post about it: http://first50.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/a-favorite-author/
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad. I guess this post was for you ;) I'll check it out.
DeleteI recognize so much of this, twitter and blogging have made such a wonderful change, even in real life I find it easier to connect now.
ReplyDeleteBlogging has saved my life. My bloggy friends offer love and inspiration in a non-judgmental way, every day. Blog friends are real friends, and I'm grateful.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I don't know what I'd do without them.
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