My rambly one word post for 2013

I've been making a lot of jokes lately about how the only thing on my life's list this year was going to be "survive."

With a tiny baby in the house, and all the adjustments we all have to do, that seems like enough of a challenge.  And it's enough of an accomplishment for me to be proud.

But that's not what I want this year to be about.

In my gut, I've known for a while that I want more.  I've seen the person who I'm becoming, and even though sometimes I'm afraid of her, I know that this journey I have found myself on is turning me into someone different than I was before, and I like it.

I almost said better right there.  I almost said "being a mom is making me a better person."  But that's not fair.

The woman that I was: the beloved teacher, the diligent student, the snarky teenage girl, she matters.  She was amazing.  I am proud to have been her.

But at the same time, I know that I'm someone else right now, and that the only way to really survive? Is to keep growing and evolving.

This year, I want to be brave.  I want to learn.  I want to play.  I want to give and serve.  But mostly, I want to keep moving forward, and let myself become who I need to be.  I don't have a specific definition of what that means, and I think that's okay.  

This year, I'm not just going to survive the hard stuff.  I'm going to let the hard stuff do what it's supposed to do.  I'm going to grow and change and not be (too) afraid of that.

So my one word for 2013 is Grow.  Little by little, and sometimes in spurts, it's the only way to get somewhere great.