I had grand plans for this week. I wanted to get serious about my growth. I wanted to read more, write more, have more fun, cook more, keep my house cleaner, pay attention more, exercise more, and generally kick ass at life.
Oh and while I was at it, I wanted to be more authentic, self compassionate, calm, creative, intuitive, joyful, and playful. (Ahem, I have indeed been drinking the Brene Koolaid.)
So. That existential crisis happened.
My dishwasher is only halfway unloaded. I have laundry in the washer that needs to go in the dryer. I haven't defrosted dinner yet. My journal is abandoned on the coffee table.
And I just spent the past 10 minutes looking my baby in the eyes, listening to her coo and laugh, and kissing her feet.
And that? Is what I'm doing right.
I do not have any idea what I am making for dinner tonight. I think the dirty laundry is sitting in a basket in the living room for me when I get home. I know this. I am leaving work early to go cuddle and love on my girls.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a wonderful job. Mothering young children is just this - stolen moments of kissing little toes and tickling little tummies.
ReplyDeleteYEEEESSS!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started therapy I would go and we would talk and then I would leave. (Well, that's actually still how it happens.) But it didn't feel like enough. I kept asking my therapist for "tips", things I could do to help ease my anxiety or speed up the recovery process. And she never had any. For awhile I actually thought she wasn't the right therapist for me.
One day, after asking again for help or homework or whatever it was I was looking for, she asked if I had a journal. And then she said, "Actually, I don't want you to try and do anything more." Or something like that. And she really had a point.
I'm always trying to achieve and succeed, and it's actually kind of the root of my "issues." There I was trying to achieve and succeed with my recovery and actually what I needed to do was relax and accept. So these days I have a new motto for myself:
Stop trying to be a better person. That shit's way too stressful.
(Sorry for the dissertation there. I thought it sort of related.)
Love this so much.
ReplyDeleteAww, you are doing it perfectly. Those little feet grow so quickly!
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