I'm not lazy.
My dearest Yael is so fond of saying, "You're not lazy. You're tired." It's such a comfort to hear, but so hard to believe.
My house isn't clean. I don't put on makeup every day. I don't do charity work. I only have one child. I don't work, at least not more than 3 hours a week. It took me 9 weeks to read a novel. I don't exercise regularly. I've eaten takeout 3 times this week. My laundry baskets are overflowing (albeit with clean laundry). I've blogged about 3 times this month. I'm afraid to even open my reader.
But I'm not lazy.
I want to do better. I'm learning to do better. But right now, it's hard. I need to learn how to do things. I need to learn balance. I'm not good at it.
I'm not good at not being good at things.
But I'm trying. I'm doing the best I can. And I know that if one of you told me this, I'd put my arm around you and say "Oh, honey. You're doing everything you need to do. You're doing your best. You're doing just fine."
I'm not lazy. I'm tired. I'm learning. I'm trying. I'm doing just fine.
And so are you. I promise.
You're doing awesome sweetie. Some days it doesn't feel like it (believe me I know) but it's not the day to day that matters. It's not how clean your house is. It's how much that little kiddo can feel how loved she is :) You're doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I'm overwhelmed with the house, I'll give myself one or two things I KNOW I can get done that day, and only focus on that not the whole picture. One step at a time.
Make a list of the things you DO do (heh) every day and you'll be surprised at how much it out weighs the 'don't do' list.
I'm so much like you--I'm not good at not being good at things too. And I do feel lazy. I feel guilty for being on the computer when I should be folding laundry. It's a constant game of keep up. I wish I had 10 more hours in my day.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. There are too many days when everything else gets in the way of my productivity. I know it's just an excuse but I like your twist on it. It makes it seem much better.
ReplyDeleteI think we are always hardest on ourselves. I drive myself crazy with the housework then I have to remind myself I'm a SAHM to take care of my baby, not so I can clean the bathroom. We can't do it all and we're doing our best. Our babies are happy and healthy - that's what matters!
ReplyDeleteYou and I are a lot alike. I am so not good at not being good at things. And right now it's hard because there is so much on my plate that I just can't seem to balance. But you're right, we're doing our best. We'll get there, I promise.
ReplyDeleteI've been sitting here tonight trying to drown out the feeling of guilt for reading instead of exercising, or washing dishes, or cleaning the apartment. This post is wonderful. It's certainly helped me after such a rotten day. You are not lazy, you are tired and you are fantastic. xx
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry. I am not good ad not being good at things. And my laundry... and my dishes... ugh. Thank you for posting this.
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