Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I don't give parenting advice. I give hugs.

I saw a post the other day for freelance articles about parenting. Part of me (the part that wants to do this writing thing in a professional capacity) wanted to jump at it. Then I thought about it for a second and realized I didn't have anything to say about parenting.

Wait, what?

Part of my goal for this blog is to help new moms who feel like they are all alone. If that's you and you're reading this, I want to give you a big hug. You're not alone. None of us are. The truth is, some moms have more skills than others. Some babies eat better or sleep better than others. None of this is your fault, and you aren't doing a thing wrong. And I'm so glad you found your way here, and I so want you to be part of the conversation.

But if you are looking for answers to your questions? I'm very sorry. I can't tell you how to get your child to behave, or eat, or sleep. Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. Better probably.

I've spent enough time searching the Internet for answers to know that there really aren't any out there. Or maybe there are some answers, for some people, but lemme tell you, I don't have any of them.

And the more I think about it, the more I start to understand who I am, and who I want to be. Yesterday I wrote about how I felt like I wasn't doing anything. Like my house was a mess and I didn't have a thing to show for it. Like I wasn't good at a single thing in the world.

But I am. I'm good at this. I'm good at comforting people. (...Right...?) My place in the world, my gift, my calling all have to do with hearing people and with helping them to see what is good in them. Nothing, and I mean nothing, has the ability to bring me back from the brink the way helping someone does.

The thing that I know, the thing that I am good at, the thing that absolutely fuels me, is my love and compassion. So, if I've ever helped you? Thank *you.* You're what keeps me going.


  1. You are awesome at helping and comforting others. Lord knows that you have been there for me over and over again.

    There are no parenting answers. Each baby, each mom, each dad, each family is different and they have to come up with their own path. So what if you house is a mess (come and take a look at mine) . . . the thing that matters is that you are working to be the best mom possible for BG. Not the "perfect mom" but the mom that BG needs. From my perspective, you are totally succeeding at that goal. xx

  2. Sometimes a hug is all we need. All the advice in the world is worth nothing without compassion and hugs.

    @jenrenpody on Twitter

  3. You help me all the time. ALL THE TIME. I'm glad that fuels you. To be a source of comfort to someone is a tremendous gift and you have that.

  4. By being here to talk to you've helped me too. To be able to have others lean on you for comfort is an amazing give. Thank you for being you.

  5. I am so grateful I found your blog. You have no idea how comforting you have been to me in this short amount of time. Becoming a mom has been wonderful and crazy and you really have helped me feel not alone. Thank you!

  6. There is something so powerful and purely rewarding ... helping others. It is a truly selfless act. How wonderful that you notice that those opportunities are so important. -Laverne visiting from Just.Be.Enough link up

  7. So totally true. This: "hearing people and with helping them to see what is good in them" is you. It IS your gift. You are amazing at it, and I was just thinking that tonight when you tweeted me. I'm so glad you get something out of that because sometimes I feel like I don't check on you enough. But I think about you a lot.

    As for parenting advice, I know nothing either but I'm willing to fake it. Got a link for that freelance post? ;)

  8. This is actually my first time reading your blog, but I completely understand what you're saying. Sometimes all we really want is to hear someone else say, "Hey, I understand."

  9. I've often thought that your way with words is a lot better than mine. I wish I had the ability to say & comfort people like you do. You've helped me countless times & I miss you when you're not there.
    Advice isn't always whats needed. Advice is everywhere online. Hugs from people that understand and just LISTEN? That is what is hard to find.