Saturday, February 4, 2012

Life's lessons: on self care

  1. I am not good at self care.
  2. I am not good at not being good at things.
  3. I know in my head that in order to be a good mom, a good wife, and a good friend, I need to be good to myself also.
  4. But I don't necessarily know how to do that.
  5. I mean, last week I bought myself a slice of chocolate cake at the grocery store. And that made me pretty darn happy.
  6. But what I'm talking about is finding things to do that make me feel like a real, whole person, and not just someone's mom.
  7. People tell me the solution is to find something to do that's just for me, to do something I enjoy, and I get more and more frustrated.
  8. And I'm realizing that's because I don't know what to do.
  9. And when I think about it, this is a problem that goes back much further than my tenure as a mom.
  10. What I really need is a good hobby. And a passion. And an interest. Y'know, if you see any of those just kind of lying around.
  11. On Thursday, I got so frustrated with my own lack of self care that I laced up my shoes, threw the baby in my BRAND NEW Baby Jogger (thanks, DH), and went for a run.
  12. With a hacking, phlegmy cough and a potential fever. I got to the end of the block and turned around before my lungs exploded.
  13. Have I mentioned I'm not so good at this yet?


  1. Ah sweetie I so love you for this post and for the fact that you got so frustrated that you went for a jog . . . that would mean I am insanely frustrated if I took up jogging!

    Hum, what did you used to do before BG that was for your own enjoyment? Jogging? Reading? Start slowly with some of those things and see if they still bring joy to your life.

    I love you hun! Be gentle with yourself.

    1. Aww, thank you. The thing is, I don't remember ever doing anything fun! I just remember working. A lot. And I guess I read more, but we know that can be a little challenging when we're struggling.

  2. I don't have a kid, but I'm a nanny who spends 10 hours ever week day with an infant. And (TMI) we're TTC. So I'm totally qualified to give advice about this. Oh wait, no I'm not. So I'll just tell you what I do, and see if any of it sounds good to you.

    My self-care consists of acupuncture, therapy and treats brought home for me by my husband. Sometimes, I go "But I NEED ice cream!" and he goes to buy it for me right then. (I know. I have the best husband ever.)

    And audiobooks! I'm the nerd who loves audiobooks and yet is under 30 years old. My subscription (the most expensive one) is a non-optional item in our budget.

    And blogs. Particularly my own.

    And Twitter.

    Self-care is easier while baby wearing because it facilitates my internet addiction by making typing easer.

    PPS Self-care is *really* hard. So I send you here, ( not joking--go!) for your consideration:

    1. You are so sweet. And wow, I could never be a nanny.

      I eat plenty of chocolate and ice cream, and don't get me wrong I love it. What I'm looking for I think, is something that makes me feel like a whole, well-rounded person and not "just" a mom. And what I'm starting to figure out is it's not as much an issue of finding the time as of not knowing what it is I want to do if I do have time.

  3. You like to read and write. And teach. And you're doing those things. It doesn't have to be anything big or earth shattering. You don't need to weave a blanket or anything! There are little things that make you happy and if you do enough of them on any day, you'll find yourself smiling.