Life's lessons: Big Dreams
- So that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've had all week? Those tears I've been fighting? The running around in circles I've been doing?
- I want to be a writer.
- Saying that out loud scares the hell out of me.
- Which is probably why I need to say it.
- And if I'm being honest, I don't even know what it means.
- I don't know what I want to write. Or where. Or when. Or how. Or for who. Or even why.
- All I know is that there is this voice in the back of my head that says "I want to be a writer."
- And that when it does I suddenly become very interested in unloading my dishwasher. Or taking up running. Or catching up on my twitter stream.
- And I'm starting to realize that that resistance? Means I've hit on the right thing.
- The excuses and the ways out: not enough time, no money, can't take attention away from my baby, my husband needs me, my friends need me, there're other things I should be doing, it's a stupid goal, it doesn't mean anything, I don't have anything to write about, no one wants to read what I have to say, I don't know how to do it...
- All of that is just my mind trying to protect me.
- Because what if I try and I fail? What if my whole life I've had this idea in my head that if I just found the right moment and the right thing to write about I could be great, and then I try it and I find out that I'm totally wrong? That I'm no good, that I can't do it.
- But what if I don't?
What an exciting revelation! What a terrifying revelation! ;)
ReplyDeleteTo quote from a rather adorable Jedi Master "Do or do not. There is no try" . . . or Nike "Just Do It"!
In other words, ones that are in fact my own, I think you should go for it. You have already made steps in that direction . . . you write here . . . you write for others . . . now just take the next step. I don't actually know what that is but perhaps figuring that out is part of the journey!
I am so proud of you my dear friend. You have put yourself out there, stated your dream, now go for it! ((Hugs))
Jenn
This made me so happy.
ReplyDeleteYour words are so beautiful, I think you could write a book about soil samples and make it interesting. And I've read a book or two on soil sampling. NOT interesting.
In all seriousness, I'm proud of you for realizing that this is the thing you've been seeking. I'm going to leave it at that.
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
ReplyDeleteTheodore Roosevelt
You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. If this is what you think you are called for then I say go for it! You will never know unless you have the courage to try.
I know you don't believe me, but you ARE ALREADY A WRITER! You truly are, but I know how you doubt yourself. Follow your passions and I believe good things will happen. You know this feels right and what a relief to know that. Although I get that whole, um, lemme go do some chores now so I can avoid this. Guilty. So happy for you!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best thing I've read in ages and if I weren't already in bed I'd do a happy dance. So I'll just do it with my fingers -> Woot woot!
ReplyDeleteI think the beautiful thing about wanting to be a writer, aside from the fact that you already are, is that you get to define what that looks like. You can write beautiful things here and touch people the way you do and boom, you're a writer who can call herself successful. If you want to freelance you can do that. If you want to write a book you can do that.
And see? I told you when you'd hit on the right thing you'd know. That bit of panic, that scary-excited adrenaline, that's IT.
Now go do it. No expectations. No limits. No "but I'll never". You can. You will. You are.