Somehow, that's not what I did today. I'm not really clear on what I did today. We went grocery shopping. I made pancakes. Somehow the house is a disaster and I don't really even remember any of us being here all day. Except I couldn't really tell you where else we were all day.
This day, it seems to have just gotten lost. I didn't put my tree up. I didn't eat any leftover turkey.
I don't feel incredibly bad about this. It's just 9:23 and I'm wondering how that happened.
And that's all I really have to say about today.
.... Oh. Were you expecting something deep and insightful today?
Wait.
Hmmm.
I think, I've been waiting for someone to come and take care of me. I want to be nurtured and snuggled and accepted and told that my feelings are okay. I want someone to get me some cake and a glass of water. And sometimes I'm just really angry at the world that that doesn't seem to happen. Why doesn't anyone take care of me? Why doesn't anyone come stroke my hair and tuck me in and say "There, there" and "num num num"?
And I think, maybe I need to stop waiting for someone to do it and just start taking care of myself. That rush of panic in my throat as I typed that probably means that it's the truth.
And that's all I really have to say about that.
You have to take care of yourself. I'm not saying you don't deserve to have someone take care of you, too, but just that you can't neglect your needs. I know-easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteMy day seemed to have wasted away too though I think it's exactly what we needed-a do whatever you want but not much of anything stay in your pjs all day kinda day.
ReplyDeleteSelf-care still scares me every time I do it. I feel like I'm stealing time away from something. I am not sure what that is exactly. I do notice a difference in my overall mood when I take care of myself.
ReplyDelete