I don't really do Black Friday shopping. I mean, I'm not a big fan of crowds. And I'm not even a huge fan of stuff. The day after Thanksgiving, what I really want to be doing is watching football and eating lots of pie on my couch with my feet up.
Somehow, that's not what I did today. I'm not really clear on what I did today. We went grocery shopping. I made pancakes. Somehow the house is a disaster and I don't really even remember any of us being here all day. Except I couldn't really tell you where else we were all day.
This day, it seems to have just gotten lost. I didn't put my tree up. I didn't eat any leftover turkey.
I don't feel incredibly bad about this. It's just 9:23 and I'm wondering how that happened.
And that's all I really have to say about today.
.... Oh. Were you expecting something deep and insightful today?
I think, I've been waiting for someone to come and take care of me. I want to be nurtured and snuggled and accepted and told that my feelings are okay. I want someone to get me some cake and a glass of water. And sometimes I'm just really angry at the world that that doesn't seem to happen. Why doesn't anyone take care of me? Why doesn't anyone come stroke my hair and tuck me in and say "There, there" and "num num num"?
And I think, maybe I need to stop waiting for someone to do it and just start taking care of myself. That rush of panic in my throat as I typed that probably means that it's the truth.
And that's all I really have to say about that.