Just a quick post

Just a short post today because my in-laws are visiting and I hear someone in the shower which means that my morning quiet time while BG watches TV is about to be over earlier than it usually is.

QUICK!  WRITE WRITE WRITE!  BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!  EVEN IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY YET!  Ahem.

The three year old is sitting on my head.  The baby is nursing.  As usual.  I'm typing frantically.  Writing as if my life depends on it.

I'm not good at a lot of things.  One of the things I'm not very good at is making my own needs known, taking care of myself.   I've been feeling really self conscious about this, like it was a fault.  Like I should be ashamed of not doing enough self care. Like it meant I wasn't serious about my recovery, wasn't working hard enough, wasn't ever going to get better.

Oh hi brain.  You're being a jerk again.

Grabbing tight to the things that matter.  Finding a minute to write.   Reaching out to help people I love.  Giggling with the baby for 5 seconds without worrying about whether it's the right thing to do.

Grabbing on tight to myself.

I've got this.  I've totally got this.