Last week, we took the infant car seats out of our cars.
Baby Girl is 10.5 months old, and even though she isn’t quite too heavy for the infant car seat, we decided it was time. We had one convertible car seat already, and DH found a very felicitous clearance on them at Target so we could get one for the other car. We went out to the driveway at 9:00, after I put the baby to bed, and installed the big car seats in both cars.
And I cried.
My husband gave me a funny look. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to miss the infant car seat.”
“But this one will be more comfortable. And it has better head protection. Don’t you like our baby’s head? Why don’t you want to protect her head?”
“...I like her head.”
“Okay then.” And he continued tightening the car seat.
But it’s sad. It IS sad, right? I didn’t think we were here yet. I’m not ready for her to grow up.
. . . Which is not to say that sitting in a rear facing convertible car seat is the mark of a grown up. But still.
When I had a newborn, I couldn’t wait for her to be able to smile. I couldn’t wait for her to be able to roll. I couldn’t wait for her to be able to crawl. I couldn’t wait for her to be able to talk.
(Okay, I still can’t wait for her to be able to talk. Although she might be signing now? She claps her hands when she wants more food. I’ve decided she means more. Or maybe she just likes clapping.)
But now I miss her being a bundle in my arms. I miss her letting me cuddle her 24 hours a day. I miss being able to put her down on the floor and have her stay where I left her. (Wait. . . what?)
I’m afraid that she’s not my baby anymore.
But I like her now too. She’s so much fun. I love her laugh. Her tiny teeth are absolutely adorable. She likes bread and cheese and crackers, just like mama. She can get down and dance like it’s nobody’s business.
So maybe it’s okay. Maybe we’re ready for the big carseat. Because I really do like her head.