Last week, we took the infant car seats out of our cars.
Baby Girl is 10.5 months old, and even though she isn’t quite too heavy for the infant car seat, we decided it was time. We had one convertible car seat already, and DH found a very felicitous clearance on them at Target so we could get one for the other car. We went out to the driveway at 9:00, after I put the baby to bed, and installed the big car seats in both cars.
And I cried.
My husband gave me a funny look. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to miss the infant car seat.”
“But this one will be more comfortable. And it has better head protection. Don’t you like our baby’s head? Why don’t you want to protect her head?”
“...I like her head.”
“Okay then.” And he continued tightening the car seat.
But it’s sad. It IS sad, right? I didn’t think we were here yet. I’m not ready for her to grow up.
. . . Which is not to say that sitting in a rear facing convertible car seat is the mark of a grown up. But still.
When I had a newborn, I couldn’t wait for her to be able to smile. I couldn’t wait for her to be able to roll. I couldn’t wait for her to be able to crawl. I couldn’t wait for her to be able to talk.
(Okay, I still can’t wait for her to be able to talk. Although she might be signing now? She claps her hands when she wants more food. I’ve decided she means more. Or maybe she just likes clapping.)
But now I miss her being a bundle in my arms. I miss her letting me cuddle her 24 hours a day. I miss being able to put her down on the floor and have her stay where I left her. (Wait. . . what?)
I’m afraid that she’s not my baby anymore.
But I like her now too. She’s so much fun. I love her laugh. Her tiny teeth are absolutely adorable. She likes bread and cheese and crackers, just like mama. She can get down and dance like it’s nobody’s business.
So maybe it’s okay. Maybe we’re ready for the big carseat. Because I really do like her head.
I get excited about Donut's milestone's too, but then sometimes I get a little sad when I put away more of her tiny clothes that no longer fit. I'm actually kind of sad about her getting teeth b/c she has the most adorable toothless smile and I thought "I'll never see her with no teeth again." Isn't that silly?
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way when we hit milestones. I'm happy that they're growing but inside I still yearn for them to be little. Sigh. Motherhood is tough.
ReplyDeleteIs there a hubby out there that understands a mamas struggle with watching the baby phase end? We are moving Leah into her crib and her birthday is tomorrow. I am sobbing. Hubby doesn't get it.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time facing a first birthday without knowing there would be another baby. Hate it.
I have always been sad at the thought that the E that I have today will never be again. That I won't get 6-month-old E back. Or 13-month-old E. Or 34-month-old E back (You know what? It's been a long couple of weeks. I'm ready for 35-month-old E, honestly.)
ReplyDeleteBut I love this phase. The person she is right now. It's felt the same way every time: "I love this age, please don't get any bigger." Then I realize we have to close one chapter to get to the next. And the next chapter? Might just be the best one.
So funny. I know exactly what you mean. When we were at the airport last week the agent put Connor on the scale and weighed him. Her first comment: "You're 2 pounds away from a booster seat!" My first thought was, "Wow!" That seems like such a milestone and there's part of me that's excited for it. But if we actually move him out of his car seat I will be sad.
ReplyDeleteI always associate bucket seats with "baby". I was sad when he moved out of that too.