Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I am enough because I see the good



I honestly thought this would be harder than it was, but I've had a really good week.

1. Yesterday morning I played an epic game of peek-a-boo with the baby. Even though I was tired. Even though I wanted to do other things. She laughed and laughed and laughed. So I did too.

2. I got two facebook messages from former students yesterday. The first a message to tell me that "Even though I hated Brave New World when we studied it, it's now my favorite book. I thought you'd be proud." He's 21 now. I am proud.

The second, one of my last students tagged me in a picture of the ridiculous collage they made of my white board when they found out I was leaving 2 years ago. I thanked her for posting it, and 5 students liked my comment within ten minutes.

3. I got the most amazing comment from Susan on my Rainy Day Letter. She told me that by writing, I am helping other people find Peace and Purpose. There is nothing in the world I'd rather do.

With that kind of week, how could I not feel good about myself? And yet that's not true. I could. I choose to see the beauty and the wonder in all of these small things, just like I choose to see the good in everyone else around me. Does that mean I don't realize that people are mean and ugly sometimes? Of course not. It's just what I choose to see, and I can choose to recognize that good in myself too.

A month ago? I don't think I could have. I thought I was invisible, I thought I was gone. But I'm not. I'm still the woman I always was. I'm her and so much more.

I've always said that I wanted nothing more than to change the world, to make people's lives better, to make things a little more beautiful for me having been there. And now I know I can.

Because I already am. Because I have been all along.

5 comments:

  1. Oh my--- this necessitated a kleenex! I am so glad you that chose to look at the beauty and wonder--- you are amazing!

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  2. you are amazing. and this is the best. and it's so, so, SO TRUE. it can be so hard to make that choice, and i'm so glad that it's easier this week. xoxoxo

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  3. This makes me unspeakably happy. I'm so, so glad you have these moments and can see the good in them.

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  4. Your words are helping others find peace and purpose. Don't you ever forget that. You are so amazing. I've loved watching you flourish these past couple of months. Well done Mama!

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  5. Choosing to find the good? That is the best purpose of all, honestly :) Everything seems a little better, a little more ripe with possibility if I seek out the positive and don't dwell on the negative.

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